God with us

Mat 1:18-25

Key verse: 23

The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son,
and they will call him Immanuel"
-- which means, "God with us."

The Apostle Matthew presents Jesus Christ as the King of the Jews and of the Gentiles. Jesus Christ is the king who was sent from God through the Holy Spirit. Jesus Christ is the King who will save his people from their sins. Jesus is Immanuel God with us. We will focus on three things in this passage. 

(1) Origin of Jesus: From God the Father, through God the Holy Spirit (18, 20) 

(2) Work of Jesus for us: To save his people from their sins. (21)

(3) Character of God who is with us. (23) 

May God richly bless us to accept Jesus Christ as Immanuel God with us and worship and serve him as King of kings.

1. How did the birth of Jesus come about? (18)

ANSWER:

Mat 1:18  This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit.

The birth of Jesus came about:

“through the Holy Spirit”. Mary had become pregnant supernaturally, not naturally.

When “Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph”.

“before they came together” (Mary was still a virgin). 

“Christ” is Jesus’ title here.

Christ literally means “anointed”. To appoint a person to an office, the Lord would anoint him with oil. This was done for prophets (1Ki 19:16b), priests (Lev 8:12; Exo 28:41), and kings (1Sa 10:1).

Jesus was later anointed with the Spirit (Mat 3:16-17; Isa 61:1; Luk 4:18-21) to be prophet (Deu 18:18; Acts 3:22-26) priest (Heb 5:5-6) and especially the Davidic King who would reign forever (Dan 9:25; 1Ch 17:11-14; 2Sa 7:12-14; Eze 37:25; Zec 6:12-13).

The Christ was the one whom God promised to send to save the world (Isa 49:6; 55:3-5; 53:5, 10).

The Christ had to be a descendant of David (2Sa 7:12-13). Jesus was a legal descendant of David through Joseph, his adoptive father (1-17).

His origin is divine:

Triple emphasis on the divine origin of Jesus (18, 20, 23).

Jesus was born through/from the Holy Spirit (18, 20, 23).

Jesus came from the Father above, not from a man. He was born of a virgin.

Jesus was not a blood descendant of Adam. 

Jesus is not sinful. He has no sin (2Co 5:21; 1Pe 2:22; Heb 4:15).

Jesus is God (Joh 1:1; 10:30; 20:28-29; 1Jn 5:20; Ro 9:5; 2Pe 1:1; Tit 2:13; Heb 1:8; Php 2:6). 

Who was Mary? (18)

ANSWER:

Mat 1:18  This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit.

Mary was a virgin “pledged to be married” (betrothed) to Joseph, a carpenter in Nazareth.

Betrothal was similar to a modern engagement. During betrothal, the couple was legally bound together as husband and wife but yet did not live together. They were also forbidden to engage in sexual intercourse until marriage. Betrothal could be severed only by divorce. Consequently:

Mary was legally married to Joseph and was his wife (19).

Mary was a virgin (Luk 1:27, 34).

Mary was probably a young teenage girl. 

Mary showed spiritual maturity despite her youth (Luk 1:38, 48; 2:19).

Mary was very poor as shown later by the offering made at the temple (Luk 2:24;  2Co 8:9).

Jewish marriage customs had two stages:

Betrothal:

Was negotiated when the couple was quite young.

Was predominantly arranged by the parents (but there were exceptions).

Was sealed by a betrothal ceremony after a drink of wine.

Marriage:

Took place usually one year after betrothal.

The bridegroom prepared the house to live with his bride. 

Jewish marriage customs resemble Christ and the church (Eph 5:32; 2Co 11:2). 

Wine is the means by which the church is betrothed (Mat 26:27-29; Joh 2:1-11)

A house is being prepared by the Son for his bride (Joh 14:2)

The church keeps watch, prepares for his return (Mat 25:1-13; 1Jn 3:2-3)

The groom shall return for the wedding (Rev 19:7-9).

How did Mary become pregnant? (18, 20b)

ANSWER:

Mat 1:18  This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit.

Mat 1:20  But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.

She was pregnant through the Holy Spirit. 

Mary was a virgin (Luk 1:27, 34).

She did not have any sexual relationship with her husband Joseph yet. 

She took a great risk in choosing to be the mother of the Christ.

Risked her life: The penalty for adultery was death by stoning (Deu 22:23-24)

Risked her comfortable marriage life: She could be divorced by her husband (19).

Risked losing her husband’s trust and affection: she might be misunderstood by her husband. 

Risked her reputation: She might be misunderstood by people. 

She firmly believed that she was highly favored and blessed despite all these possible difficulties (Luk 1:48, 28, 38). She thereby showed her great trust in God. What a big trial for a teenage girl. 

Do we train our daughters and ourselves to live such a life of faith before God?

For God Almighty, nothing (including virgin birth) is impossible (Luk 1:37; Mat 19:26) 

Jesus is fully God and Jesus is fully human (Col 2:9). 

Jesus added to himself all the essential qualities and frailties of human nature so as to become fully human. Yet, Jesus is God. God is immutable (Heb 13:8; Mal 3:6; Jas 1:17). Jesus did not cease to be anything less than fully God by laying aside his robes of divine majesty and glory to come down and be clothed as a servant in human likeness (Php 2:6-7; Joh 17:5; Heb 2:9).

How could God who is infinite in his qualities become a man in his finite qualities? 

This is quite a mystery but we believe it because nothing is impossible with God.

The mystery of this infinite God in finite flesh is not supposed to be the object over which we stumble because it isn't logical. Rather, it is supposed to be the object of our fascination and adoration and worship -- that which we marvel over.

This is a wonderful mystery bringing grace upon grace to us. (Joh 1:14, 16).

Our salvation depends on the fact of the virgin birth and Jesus’ identity as the God-man.

For Christ to be sinless, he had to be born of a virgin and born through the Holy Spirit.

If Jesus was sinful, his death could not save the world. As a sinner, he would have to die for his own sin.

Jesus came as the Holy God in order to satisfy God’s standard for righteousness and die for the sin of man. 

If Jesus is not God, he is sinful like everybody else. 

Jesus was born of a woman so that he might be fully human (Gen 3:15; Gal 4:4)

Jesus is human so that he can die for humans (Heb 2:14-15). 

If Jesus is not a man, he cannot die for men. 

He became the God-man to be mediator between God and men (1Ti 2:5)

If Jesus is not the God-man, he cannot be mediator between God and men. 

2. Who was Joseph and what kind of person was he? (16, 19-20a) 

ANSWER:

Mat 1:16  and Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ.

Mat 1:19-20  Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.  20  But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.

He was the husband of Mary (16, 19).

Although they were not married, Joseph was considered Mary’s husband by betrothal. 

He was a “righteous” man (19).

He was right with God by faith. 

Being righteous is always related to one’s relationship with God; it is not based on human works.   

It does not mean he was sinless, but that he had an intimate relationship with God through his faith. 

He was concerned about morality and truth. He had an acute sense of justice that what happened must be dealt with according to the principles and essence of God's righteous law (Mat 23:23).

He was one who lived righteously (lived a morally upright life) by his faith in God.

He was not ruled by his passions and emotion but by the love of God’s truth. Therefore:

Even though he was probably hurt, thinking that Mary had been unfaithful, he could act contrary to his natural feeling so as to please God.

He wanted to protect Mary from public disgrace.

He had mercy on her; the ingredients of the righteous character of a righteous man are justice, mercy and faithfulness (Mat 23:23).

He considered divorcing her quietly rather than punishing her.

He was the “son of David” (20)

Joseph was a physical descendant of King David.

Joseph was a spiritual descendant of King David. He had, by his faith in God’s promise of the Messiah, the princely character of a royal son of David.

What did he have in mind to do? (19b) 

ANSWER:

Mat 1:19  Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

He had in mind to “divorce her quietly”. 

How did God help Joseph? (20-21)

ANSWER:

Mat 1:20-21  But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.  21  She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."

God sent an angel to him in a dream. 

God sent an angel to explain about Mary’s pregnancy. 

What was conceived in Mary was from the Holy Spirit. 

The angel revealed God’s salvation plan.

God comforted Joseph through resolving his misunderstanding:

“Do not be afraid to take Mary home”

Mary’s child is from God, not her infidelity. 

What did he have to overcome to be the husband of Mary? (20)

ANSWER:

Mat 1:20  But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.

He had to overcome his wounded heart. He was probably hurt, thinking that Mary had been unfaithful.

He had to overcome his dream of living a comfortable life. He now had to take care of not only Mary but also her son.

He had to overcome his human desire to have his biological child first. 

He had to overcome people’s misunderstanding about his wife’s child. 

He trusted in God to vindicate him and his name in due season. 

He valued God’s approval more than man’s.

Do we train our sons and ourselves to live such a life of faith before God?

3. What was the child to be named? (21)

ANSWER:

Mat 1:21  She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."

Jesus

What does ‘Jesus’ mean and how is it related to his mission? (21b) 

ANSWER:

Mat 1:21  She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."

Jesus means ‘the Lord saves’. 

The name ‘Jesus’ was fairly common in that day. It comes from the name Joshua (Num 13:16).

It shows how much people of Israel at that time had been waiting for the salvation of God through the Messiah. 

Jesus entered this world on a mission to save people from sin.

He came to save his people (Joh 10:3).

His people are those who listen to his voice; they learn from him and follow him (Joh 10:16, 27; 6:45).

He did not wait for us to come to him but he came to us. He came to those who were dead in sin and could not come to him (Ro 3:11; 1Jo 4:19).

He came to save his people from their sins (21b; Act 4:12).

People are not saved in their sin but from their sin.

People cannot save themselves from out of their sins (Eph 2:1-2; Ro 5:6; Joh 6:44). That is why Jesus had to come (Gal 2:21).

We are not saved by our merit (Jdg 7:2; Jer 17:5).

Joshua led the people to the promised land. Moses, the lawgiver, could not do that. Likewise, we cannot rescue ourselves from sin by obedience to the law. We must follow Jesus who came to lead us by the power of his blood to his blessed dominion.

He came as the spiritual Savior.

The people of Israel were waiting for a political Messiah to save them from Rome.

Matthew clearly mentioned that Jesus is spiritual Messiah to save his people from their sins.

The root cause of all the problems in this world is sin. 

There are so many problems in this world: Economic, educational, and social problems, immigration and Homeland Security problems, poverty, drug addiction, sexual immorality, teenage pregnancy, abortion and divorce.

But the most fundamental of all problems is sin. 

All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Ro 3:23)

All are dead in their sins (Eph 2:1-2).

All are slaves to sin (Joh 8:34)

How can Jesus save his people from their sins? (1Co 15:3-4; Gen 3:15)  

ANSWER:

1Co 15:3-4  For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures,  4  that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures,

Gen 3:15  And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel."

Jesus, by his death on the cross, saves people from their sins.

God sent Jesus into the world as the Lamb of God to save the world from their sin (Mat 1:21; Joh 1:29; 3:16) 

God punished Jesus on the cross instead of men (Gal 3:13; 2Co 5:21)

This salvation through Christ was foreshadowed in the ceremonial law.

God commanded that animals should be sacrificed to forgive sins (Lev 17:11; Heb 9:22).

These blood sacrifices were not the reality but only a shadow of Jesus, the Lamb of God (Heb 10:1, 4).

This salvation was predicted in detail through the prophets and the psalms

Jesus died on the cross, shedding his blood as Lamb of God to take away the sin of the world (Isa 53:7, 10; Joh 1:29).

4. How did the birth of Jesus fulfill Scripture? (22-23; Isa 7:14)

ANSWER:

Mat 1:22-23  All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet:  23  "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel" -- which means, "God with us."

Isa 7:14  Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.

Isa 8:8-10  and sweep on into Judah, swirling over it, passing through it and reaching up to the neck. Its outspread wings will cover the breadth of your land, O Immanuel!"  9  Raise the war cry, you nations, and be shattered! Listen, all you distant lands. Prepare for battle, and be shattered! Prepare for battle, and be shattered!  10  Devise your strategy, but it will be thwarted; propose your plan, but it will not stand, for God is with us.

Jesus fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah 7:14.

The virgin (Mary) was pregnant with child and gave birth to a son. 

Jesus was born of a virgin as was prophesied.

The virgin birth of Jesus is the sign God gave us by which we can recognize him as our deliverer who came to bring us to God.

This prophesy of Isaiah was given 730 years before Jesus' birth. When Aram and Samaria joined forces against Judah, Ahaz wanted to make a pact with Assyria. So, the Prophet Isaiah was sent to King Ahaz to persuade him to trust the Lord rather than Assyria. Isaiah promised him the sign of Immanuel, the sign that God was with his people as their Lord and protector.

This sign of a child from a virgin birth seems so weak and insignificant. Likewise, Jesus does not appear to have majesty or power in the eyes of natural man (Isa 53:2). His offspring are not necessarily those who look outwardly glorious and powerful.

What is another name of Jesus? (23)

ANSWER:

Mat 1:23  "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel" -- which means, "God with us."

"Immanuel" is another title of Jesus. 

"Immanuel" refers to both his deity and his humanity. 

"Immanuel" Jesus is a mystery of deity and humanity (Joh 1:14)

Jesus is God with us (Isa 7:14; 8:8, 10). 

Jesus is God with us in his incarnation.

Jesus is God with us through the Holy Spirit.

Jesus is God with us by his word (1Jo 2:14; Joh 15:7).

Jesus is God with us in our private/group prayer.

What can we learn about ‘God with us’?

ANSWER:

God promised that he would be with his people. 

It means he is with us all the time, no matter what situations we might be in.

Immanuel Jesus shows the attributes of God.

God is faithful. He always keeps his promise. 

God is almighty. He can keep his promise even if it seems impossible. 

God is good. He wants to be with us and to provide the best for us. 

God is our refuge. He is with us to protect us from the evil one. 

God is merciful. He wants to be with us when nobody wants to be with us (Psa 142:4).

God is graceful. He wants to be with us although we are wicked and vile in nature.

God is just. He wants to be with us through the redemption of Jesus.

God is humble. How low God had to bend down to be with sinners like us.

He did not come down in a consuming fire but approachable as a man. He came humbly, gently as a baby to be with us.

God is transcendent. He can be with us throughout the generation beyond time and space.

God is our reward. What can we expect more than being with God?

God is sovereign. He has been fulfilling his own words in the Old Testament through Jesus and the Spirit.

Jesus is the mighty arm of the LORD who came down to find and rescue that which was lost -- to snatch men from the power of sin and death (Luk 19:10; Mat 9:9; Isa 53:1).

Jesus is God who came to lead us out of sins to the life of fullness under the blessed dominion of his Spirit (Joh 10:10; 1Jo 3:24).

Jesus is not with those who are lost in sins (Mat 1:21). He is God who came to rescue man from sins.

Jesus is with those who follow him in the narrow way of the cross (Joh 12:26; Mat 16:24; Ro 8:14); He is with those who listen to him and are led by him (Joh 10:27).

Jesus is God who came to lead us to a blessed life that, in every action of our lives, we might be with him (Joh 17:24; Ps 65:4).

To be with us, to comfort, enlighten, protect, defend us in every aspect of our lives.

May the Lord use us as his instruments to seek out lost ones and bring them to the blessed life of union with him.

What did Joseph do afterward? (24-25) 

ANSWER:

Mat 1:24-25  When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife.  25  But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.

Joseph obeyed what the angel of the Lord commanded 

He trusted what the angel of the Lord had said to him. 

Joseph took Mary home as his wife but had no union with her until she gave birth to a son

Joseph did not have sexual union with Mary until she gave birth to Jesus.  

Joseph gave the son the name Jesus. 

He obeyed without hesitation.

In Conclusion, Jesus is Immanuel. Jesus is God with us. Jesus is God incarnated. Jesus is our Savior who can redeem us from all our sins. Jesus is God who has compassion, mercy, and grace for us. May God richly bless us to open our heart to trust Jesus and to worship and serve him with all our heart and soul and mind. Amen.

 This is reflected in Mat 1:19 where Joseph is called her “husband” and “divorce” was the means he considered to break off the betrothal. Mat 1:19 reads, “Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.” Jeremias states, “The betrothed woman is called ‘wife’, can become a widow, be put away by divorce and punished with death for adultery (Bill. II, 393ff. has the evidence).” (Joachim Jeremias, Jerusalem in the time of Jesus: an investigation into economic and social…, Pgs 367) “From the moment of her betrothal a woman was treated as if she were actually married. The union could not be dissolved, except by regular divorce; breach of faithfulness was regarded as adultery; and the property of the woman became virtually that of her betrothed, unless he had expressly renounced it (Kidd. ix. 1).” (Alfred Edersheim, Sketches of Jewish social life in the days of Christ, Pg 148)

 Jewish girls married at a very young age. “The usual age for a girl’s betrothal was between twelve and twelve and a half (Bill. II, 374); but there is incontestable evidence of betrothals and marriages at an even earlier age (p. 363 n. 26).” (Joachim Jeremias, Jerusalem in the time of Jesus: an investigation into economic and social…, Pg 365) “Minors--in the case of girls up to twelve years and one day--might be betrothed or given away by their father. In that case, however, they had afterwards the right of insisting upon divorce.” (Alfred Edersheim, Sketches of Jewish social life in the days of Christ, Pg 144) “Marriages took place while the two were usually quite young — the bride about 12 to 13 years of age, the groom about 18” (Arland J. Hultgren, The Parables of Jesus: A Commentary, Pg 170) Evidence for betrothal before age 12 (bat Mitzvah) comes from the Mishna: “A father may likewise betroth his daughter while she is a minor [‏נערה‎] either personally or by his proxy.” (T. Kiddushin 2.1 from D. A. Sola, Eighteen Treatises from the Mishna, Pg 310)

 See the above citation. “It is possible that both Joseph and Mary were quite young when they were betrothed. Girls were often betrothed as young as twelve or thirteen, and boys when they were several years older than that.” (John MacArthur, Matthew 1-7, Volume 1, Pg 16) “The marriage may have been intended by the parents from the infancy of the parties, but this formality of betrothal is not entered on till the marriage is considered reasonably certain and measurably near.” (James Orr, International Standard Bible Encyclopedia, Topic: Marriage) “There was the Engagement. This was made by the parents or by professional matchmakers. It could be made even when the couple were in infancy, and was regularly made before they had ever seen each other. It was considered far safer to arrange a marriage in this way than to leave it to the unaccountable dictates of the emotions. So serious a step had to be taken with wisdom and with care and with prudence, lest the young couple be unduly influenced by the kind of beauty which rapidly fades, and forget the importance of character and of family breeding.” (William Barclay, The Ten Commandments, Pg 99) “Another tradition, originating in the school of a sage who lived at the time of the destruction of the Temple, informs us that God waits patiently for a man to marry before he is twenty, but if he remains single after that age God becomes angry.”  (M. Stern, The Jewish people in the first century: Historical geography, political..., Pg 754) “In the period after the exile the proper age for marriage is fixed in the Mishna at eighteen (Aboth, v, 31), and though, for the sake of preserving morality, puberty was regarded as the desirable age, yet men generally married when they were seventeen (Jebamnlh, 62; Kiddushin, 29). The Talmudists forbade marriage in the case of a man under thirteen years and a day, and in the case of a woman under twelve years and a day (Buxtorf, Synagog. cap. 7, p. 143).” (John McClintock, Cyclopaedia of Biblical, theological, and ecclesiastical literature, Volume 5, Pg 773)

 “According to the various sources, ancient Jewish customs concerning marriage typically involved two stages. The first was the kiddushin or erusin (“betrothal”) at which the marriage contract was arranged by the parents (or at least with their consent) of the couple to be married³, in accord with ancient traditions, although marriages initiated by the man are known as well... Footnote 3. Cf. m. Qidd. 2.1; G. Moore, Judaism, 2:121; Victor P. Hamilton, “Marriage: Old Testament and Ancient Near East,” ABD 4:562-63; Raymond Apple, “Marriage: The Concept” EncJud 11:1027.” (Arland J. Hultgren, The Parables of Jesus: A Commentary, Pg 170) “A Hebrew marriage involved two stages, the kiddushin (betrothal) and the huppah (marriage ceremony). The marriage was almost always arranged by the families of the bride and groom, often without consulting them.” (John MacArthur, Matthew 1-7, Volume 1, Pg 16) In the Old Testament, the fathers considered it their duty and prerogative to find daughters for their sons following the pattern of the Father who provided a wife for his son, Adam (Gen 2:22-24). This was a practice tacitly approved of by God himself in Scripture (Exo 34:16; Deut 7:3; Ezr 9:12; Neh 10:30). The practice was normative throughout the OT period (Gen 21:21; 24:1-4; 41:45-46; 38:6; Jdg 12:9; 21:7; 1Sa 17:25; 18:21; 1Chr 2:35; 1Ki 2:21). But Jer 29:6 is the one explicit Biblical prescription for arranged marriage (applicable to the Exiles). 

 “Where the social intercourse between the sexes was nearly as unrestricted as among ourselves, so far as consistent with Eastern manners, it would, of course, be natural for a young man to make personal choice of his bride. Of this Scripture affords abundant evidence.” “It is on similar grounds that the Rabbis argue, that man must seek after woman, and not a woman after a man; only the reason which they assign for it sounds strange. Man, they say, was formed from the ground—woman from man’s rib; hence, in trying to find a wife man only looks after what he had lost!” (Alfred Edersheim, Sketches of Jewish Social Life in the Days of Christ, Pgs 114, 148) “In Jerusalem, at least, there seem to have been certain opportunities (15 of Ab and Kippurim) for young people to become acquainted before the union was determined upon.” (John Chisholm Lambert, A Dictionary of Christ and the Gospels, Volume 1, Pg 201). “It not unfrequently happened, however, that the selection of partners for life was made by the young people themselves. For this, the ceremonies connected with the celebration of the festivals in the Temple afforded an excellent opportunity, as may be gathered from the following remark in the Mishna: "R. Simeon ben-Gamaliel says, There were never more joyous festivals in Israel than the 10th of Ab and the Day of Atonement. On these the maidens of Jerusalem used to come out dressed in white garments, which they borrowed, in order not to shame those who had none of their own, and which they had immersed [for fear of being polluted]. Thus arrayed, these maidens of Jerusalem went out and danced in the vineyards, singing, Young man, lift up thine eyes, and see whom thou art about to choose; fix not thine eye upon beauty, but look rather to a pious family; for gracefulness is deceit, and beauty is vanity, but the woman that fears the Lord, she is worthy of praise" (Megilla, iv, 8). Having made his choice, the young man or his father informed the maiden's father of it, whereupon the young people were legally betrothed.” (John McClintock, Cyclopaedia of Biblical, theological, and ecclesiastical literature, Volume 5, Pg 774) “The young Jewish woman in Palestine was not imprisoned in her house or courtyard: she went to the well to draw water or to the market to shop and older girls might even find employment in shops or other concerns. Tannaitic literature includes a lifelike description of a folk festival on the Fifteenth Day of Ab, when young women went to dance in the vineyards. ‘And he who was yet unmarried would direct himself thither.’ Youths could certainly meet women on their own.” (M. Stern, The Jewish people in the first century: Historical geography, political..., Pg 752) However, there were boundaries to this freedom: “The "father" in their thought, too, was God's representative, and as such he was simply carrying out God's purpose, for instance, in selecting a bride for his son, or giving the bride to be married to the son of another. This is as true of the far East as of the near East today. Accordingly, as a rule, the young people simply acquiesced, without question or complaint, in what was thus done for them, accepting it as though God had done it directly. Accordingly, too, the family and tribal loyalty overshadowed love-making and patriotism, in the larger sense.” (James Orr, International Standard Bible Encyclopedia, Topic: Marriage) “Characteristically Jewish in courtship and matchmaking was concern for purity of lineage, that is, the certainty that in neither family was there any suspicion of irregular ancestry which could make the present descendants forbidden or undesirable marriage partners; this was especially important in priestly families. There are legendary accounts of Jerusalem customs on this matter.’ A special ceremony was that of ‘cutting off’ () a couple from the family. If a man married a woman of a family whose lineage was questionable his relatives would fill containers with nuts and roast corn and then break the containers before small children, who would gather up the prizes and say: ‘So and so has been cut off from his family.’ But if he divorced her, the relatives would repeat the procedure and the children would say: ‘So and so has returned to his family.’ This ceremony was intended to ensure that there would long be witnesses to testify to the fact of the improper union and thus preclude its offspring from marrying into the family.” (M. Stern, The Jewish people in the first century: Historical geography, political..., Pg 753)

Biblical references:

David chose a wife for himself of noble character (1Sa 25:39). Pro 18:22 and Pro 31:10 prescribe that either fathers or young men should find a wife of noble character. Poor examples of men who chose their own wife: Jdg 14:2; Gen 6:2; 4:19; 27:46. Examples of premarital courtship: Gen 29:11; Ruth 3:7; Song 1:2-3:5. With regard to 1Co 7:36-38, the 1984 NIV text note gives an alternative reading: “³⁶If anyone thinks he is not treating his daughter properly, and if she is getting along in years, and he feels she ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. He should let her get married. ³⁷But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind to keep the virgin unmarried – this man also does the right thing. ³⁸So then, he who gives his virgin in marriage does right, but he who does not give her in marriage does even better.” The NET Bible subject note on these verses reads, “sn 1 Cor 7:36-38. There are two common approaches to understanding the situation addressed in these verses. One view involves a father or male guardian deciding whether to give his daughter or female ward in marriage (cf. NASB, NIV margin). The evidence for this view is: (1) the phrase in v. 37 (Grk) “to keep his own virgin” fits this view well (“keep his own virgin [in his household]” rather than give her in marriage), but it does not fit the second view (there is little warrant for adding “her” in the way the second view translates it: “to keep her as a virgin”). (2) The verb used twice in v. 38 (γαμίζω, gamizw) normally means “to give in marriage” not “to get married.” The latter is usually expressed by γαμέω (gamew), as in v. 36b. (3) The father deciding what is best regarding his daughter’s marriage reflects the more likely cultural situation in ancient Corinth, though it does not fit modern Western customs. While Paul gives his advice in such a situation, he does not command that marriages be arranged in this way universally.... The other view is taken by NRSV, NIV text, NJB, REB: a single man deciding whether to marry the woman to whom he is engaged. The evidence for this view is: (1) it seems odd to use the word “virgin” (vv. 36, 37, 38) if “daughter” or “ward” is intended. (2) The other view requires some difficult shifting of subjects in v. 36, whereas this view manages a more consistent subject for the various verbs used. (3) The phrases in these verses are used consistently elsewhere in this chapter to describe considerations appropriate to the engaged couple themselves (cf. vv. 9, 28, 39). It seems odd not to change the phrasing in speaking about a father or guardian...” (Biblical Studies Press, New English Translation, 2006)

 Edersheim describes the ceremony: “...Joseph and Mary were extremely poor... Accordingly, their betrothal must have been of the simplest, and the dowry settled the smallest possible. Whichever of the two modes of betrothal may have been adopted: in the presence of witnesses—either by solemn word of mouth, in due prescribed formality, with the added pledge of a piece of money, however small, or of money's worth for use; or else by writing (the so-called Shitre Erusin)— there would be no sumptuous feast to follow; and the ceremony would conclude with some such benediction as that afterwards in use: 'Blessed art Thou, O Lord our God, King of the World, Who hath sanctified us by His Commandments, and enjoined us about incest, and forbidden the betrothed, but allowed us those wedded by Chuppah (the marriage-baldachino) and betrothal. Blessed art Thou, Who sanctifiest Israel by Chuppah and betrothal'—the whole being perhaps concluded by a benediction over the statutory cup of wine, which was tasted in turn by the betrothed. From that, moment Mary was the betrothed wife of Joseph;” (Alfred Edersheim, The life and times of Jesus the Messiah, Volume 1, Pg 149) Other general details concerning the betrothal (kiddushin) ceremony: “The betrothal was celebrated by a feast made in the house of the bride (Jebamoth, 43 a; Taanith, 26 b; Pessachim, 49 a; Kidduikm, 45 b)”  (John McClintock, Cyclopaedia of Biblical, theological, and ecclesiastical literature, Volume 5, Pg 774) “The act of betrothal gained in importance, and the two parties seem to have been seated under a canopy during the procedure, and the company to have loined in an increasingly jovial celebration.” (John Chisholm Lambert, A Dictionary of Christ and the Gospels, Volume 1, Pg 201) “The chuppah of the talmudic era was a beautifully appointed chamber, “covered” with curtains and ornaments (Jer. Sotah 9:16)...A betrothed couple who had entered a chuppah chamber were considered legally married, even if the preceding ceremony had been omitted.” (Abraham P. Bloch, The Biblical and historical background of Jewish customs and ceremonies, Pg 32) There was no ring exchange: “The custom of using rings in marriage ceremonies began approximately in the seventh century” (Abraham P. Bloch, The Biblical and historical background of Jewish customs and ceremonies, Pg 31) Instead of a ring exchange, the groom would give the bride a small gift: “The betrothal took place in the home of the bride’s father, where she was to remain following the ceremony. Betrothal was actually a formal act of property transfer, wherein the groom gave his bride money or something else of monetary value and told her that through it she became betrothed to him ‘according to the law of Moses and Israel.’ The money in question was at times merely symbolic.” (M. Stern, The Jewish people in the first century: Historical geography, political..., Pg 755) “A contract was made and was sealed by payment of the mohar, the dowry or bride price, which was paid by the groom or his family to the bride’s father. The mohar served to compensate the father for wedding expenses and to provide a type of insurance for the bride in the event the groom became dissatisfied and divorced her. The contract was considered binding as soon as it was made, and the man and woman were considered legally married.” (John MacArthur, Matthew 1-7, Volume 1, Pg 16) 

 This is known from the Mishna: “[Should a man say to a woman] "Be thou betrothed unto me with this cup of wine," and it was found to be honey, or if he said "honey," and it was found to be wine; or, "with this silver denarius," and it was found to be a golden one;...she is not betrothed. R. Simeon, however, says, "If the error or deception was in her favor the betrothing is valid."” (T. Kiddushin 2.2 from D. A. Sola, Eighteen Treatises from the Mishna, Pg 310) The ceremony concluded with wine as stated by Edersheim: “...the whole being perhaps concluded by a benediction over the statutory cup of wine, which was tasted in turn by the betrothed. From that, moment Mary was the betrothed wife of Joseph;” (Alfred Edersheim, The life and times of Jesus the Messiah, Volume 1, Pg 149)

 “A special formality, that of ‘betrothal’ (Erusin, Qiddushin), preceded the actual marriage by a period varying in length, but not exceeding a twelvemonth in the case of a maiden.” (Albert Edersheim, The Life and Times of Jesus the Messiah, Pg 353)

 It might really have been the groom’s father who prepared the place: “Indeed, the Talmud describes how in earlier times the father of the groom would build the huppah in preparation for his son’s marriage [Cf. Genesis Rabbah 28:6; B.T. Berakhot 25b; B.T. Sanhedrin 108a], often using such valuable materials as gold or scarlet cloth.” (Rela M. Geffen, Celebration and Renewal: Rites of Passage in Judaism, Pg 107) 

But it could have been the groom himself who prepared the place: “During the six to twelve month betrothal, the future husband would prepare a home for his bride.” (Robert B. Hughes, Tyndale Concise Bible Commentary, Pg 396) “"I go to prepare a pince for you." The Father’s house already exists. Jesus was saying not that He must go to build it but rather that He must go because His departure and return to the Father (the cross and resurrection) was the means of enabling believers to inhabit the house of the Father. In addition to preparing the way, however, He is also preparing a dwelling place for them in the Father’s house. The terminology is reminiscent of the Jewish wedding custom in which the betrothed groom (Christ) prepares a place for the bride (the church) in his fathers house (heaven). I will come again (v.3) refers to the rapture, when Jesus will return to take the believers home to the Father’s house (see 1 Thess. 4:13-17).” (Edward E. Hindson, Zondervan King James Version Commentary, Pg 303) “Before the actual presentation of the bride to the bridegroom, the bridegroom would busy himself preparing a place in his father’s house for the bride. Using this imagery Christ said to these men, "in my Father’s house are many rooms" (John 14:2). In anticipation of their reunion with Him, He told them, "I am going there to prepare a place for you." This indicated that while He was absent from them, He would not forget them. Rather, He would occupy Himself preparing a place where He and they would dwell together in "my Father’s house." Just as according to the Oriental marriage Custom the bridegroom would send for the bride when all was in readiness, so Christ would do the same when He had completed His work of preparing a place in His Father’s house. He said, "I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where 1 am" (v. 3). This was a promise that the separation which had so distressed them would not be permanent.” (J. Dwight Pentecost, The words and works of Jesus Christ: a study of the life of Christ, Pg 436) 

 The first century Jewish marriage custom might have been that the son builds the huppah and does not know the time that the father will give his okay on the work so that the son can fetch his bride. This would be a wonderful explanation for Mat 24:36 but where is the evidence from Josephus, the Mishna, or other source for this custom?

 “The Greek form of the name Ihsous, which was translated into Latin as Jesus, is the same as the Hebrew Yeshua (Joshua), which means “Yahweh saves” (Yahweh is typically rendered as “Lord” in the OT). It was a fairly common name among Jews in 1st century Palestine, as references to a number of people by this name in the LXX and Josephus indicate.”  (Biblical Studies Press, New English Translation, 2006) “Noun: Ihsous, GK 2652 (S 2424), 917x. The name Ihsous is the Greek translation of the Hebrew name “Joshua.” Two OT figures named Joshua provide intriguing foreshadowings of Jesus Christ. First is Moses’ godly successor, who led Israel through the Jordan River and into the promised land of Canaan (see the relationship between these two in Heb. 4:6-11). Second is the high priest at the time of Israel’s return from exile: Zech. 3:8 states that this Joshua (or “Jesus” in the Greek translation of the OT) is a symbol of the coming Messiah. The name lèsous was common among Jews at the time of Jesus Christ and prior to the first century (for other individuals named Joshua Jesus. see. e.g., Neh. 3:19: possibly Mt. 27: 16f; Lk. 3:29 Col. 4: 11). The personal name given to Jesus is an especially appropriate one for the Messiah to hear since its Hebrew antecedent. Joshua, means “The LORD [Yahweh] is salvation.” The words of the angel to Joseph in Mt. 1:21 emphasize this very point: “And she will bear a Son; and you shall call his name Jesus, for it is he who will save his people from their sins.” (William D. Mounce, Mounce's Complete Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words, Word: Jesus)